May 28, 2008

i'm a broken spirit.
twice bitten, ___ shy?
running now seems so hard.
completely screwed up LVL run challenge, and now today.
5 rounds at LVL1 and i dropped out.
back pained again, old injury.
it was never that bad before.
then again, i didn't run as much before too. >_<
initially i was still insecure in ODAC, because i don't know how can i contribute.
and by some grace, it appears i can contribute to the physical aspect- the competition team.
heck, starting it feels so easy. improving all the while, never tasting bitterness.
seemed like there was a way i could contribute.
so i just did my best, gave it my all.
aches here and there, deepheat it and push on. no pain no gain.
but how do you gain if your pain prevents you from even pushing your limits?
running style's screwed up like crap, right leg lands awkwardly, and it jolts my hip too.
what a doublewhammy.
"recovery is a form of training too", like j said.
but i don't have the discipline to stop. or rather, the courage.
because i'm afraid that if i stop, everything may go for naught.
anecdotes from seniors, one injury, and they are back at lvl0 or worse.
prolonged absence from the track due to injury, and that's it.
everytime we do a run, p's there telling me, level 1 okay?
"yea", and always either screwing up or dropping out.
really sucks to disappoint too.
ahh, tell me what to do.. chop of my right leg and get prosthetics..? =/
haha. joking. but wth.
ahh.. heck it luh, ponder this again after x-trail and june xp.
another disappointment, another letdown...? >_<

Posted by :]amu at 11:30 PM