May 29, 2008

wowowhee! NEW BLOGSKIN!
hahas. i know the banner looks emo-ish and stuff.
but it's the nicest pon & zi blogskin i can find. =D
while i do have my emo-nemo periods, i'm generally still a nutter. yea.
hahas. earlier posts are in white, sorry about that.
but lazy to change e colors.
it also means i gotta find another inconspicous color for all the unpleasantries.
but on the bright side, the colors will be light! to blend in with the background color.
hahas.
may keep this blogskin for a while then. :))

Physics Enrichment @ NUS- Day 1!
so far would rate the enrichment camp so-so.
it's abt 30% my fault, and 70% the programme.
my fault, coz' i slept late the night before- dota-ing with des. xD
programme- first thing= 3hours of lecture.
which eventually dragged on to 4 hours.
genrally from good to bad to okay, in terms of interest level.
the astro one(bad), lost me within 15minutes of the lecture.
mind stoning through the rest of it.
afterwards was some hands-on experiments.
generally quite fun; get to play with instruments and set-ups etc.
IF i had the attention span to properly enjoy it, that is. >_<
well, tomorrow will be better i reckon.
no lectures, all hands-on, and a quiz to end it off.
guess the quiz tml will be a joke. heh. =X
ahahas. well then, going to sleep soon.
then properly enjoy the last day tml.
then x-trail briefing at night. yepp.
we must swipe all top 3 positions! gamabte ODAC!
aaha..
ending off thenn..

Posted by :]amu at 10:40 PM

May 28, 2008

i'm a broken spirit.
twice bitten, ___ shy?
running now seems so hard.
completely screwed up LVL run challenge, and now today.
5 rounds at LVL1 and i dropped out.
back pained again, old injury.
it was never that bad before.
then again, i didn't run as much before too. >_<
initially i was still insecure in ODAC, because i don't know how can i contribute.
and by some grace, it appears i can contribute to the physical aspect- the competition team.
heck, starting it feels so easy. improving all the while, never tasting bitterness.
seemed like there was a way i could contribute.
so i just did my best, gave it my all.
aches here and there, deepheat it and push on. no pain no gain.
but how do you gain if your pain prevents you from even pushing your limits?
running style's screwed up like crap, right leg lands awkwardly, and it jolts my hip too.
what a doublewhammy.
"recovery is a form of training too", like j said.
but i don't have the discipline to stop. or rather, the courage.
because i'm afraid that if i stop, everything may go for naught.
anecdotes from seniors, one injury, and they are back at lvl0 or worse.
prolonged absence from the track due to injury, and that's it.
everytime we do a run, p's there telling me, level 1 okay?
"yea", and always either screwing up or dropping out.
really sucks to disappoint too.
ahh, tell me what to do.. chop of my right leg and get prosthetics..? =/
haha. joking. but wth.
ahh.. heck it luh, ponder this again after x-trail and june xp.
another disappointment, another letdown...? >_<

Posted by :]amu at 11:30 PM

May 25, 2008

it's the midyear break~
but after informing my parents about my schedule for this "holiday",
i'm left with just one question:
What Holiday? :D

went to the sinseh today.
been going there many times now, compared to last time. hahas.
apparently my spine's a little off. so they wanted to correct it.
all the pushing and pulling, feeling my vertebrae pop. woots.
and tried "cupping" today. something-suction, what was it, lionel??
heated cups, that becomes like vacuums when place on your back.
so now i've got a few circular bruises on my back. looks abit ...
but it's quite shiok. hhas.
will be going again after x-trail and before XP.
hopefully it's the answer to my back problems once and for all. :)

so, first 2 days of break. wouldn't say utter bliss.
but it feels nice to heckcare homework without feeling guilty. lOls.
i guess so much for studying before XP luh.
it will be meeting after meeting, test after test, in preparation for it.
but like they've been emphasising.. gotta make it worth much much more than what we paid for.
hang in there~ we'll enjoy all the fruits of our labour during 6-12th June! =DD

went on the Singapore Flyer last night..
somehow i feel all the hype around it is just overrated.
or maybe it's because i went at the wrong time? about 9plus 10.
nothing much to see. the construction sites of the IR. the skylines of the various skyscrapers.
but the gelareti-something something icecream after that was nice. :) heh.
okays, nothing else for now.
going print out the knowledge test, fill it in and start revising.
i sure as hell don't wanna get myself grounded for waterfall abseiling.
i'll be so sad you wont believe it. ><
so much to look forward to, but so much to do first.
ahh, hahas.

Posted by :]amu at 10:00 PM

May 21, 2008

hihi~ this will be a quick one.
just to override that post below..
XD
well, H1 papers tml and the day after. GP and Economics respectively.
somehow i don't really got a good feeling about this. ><
ah gawds. but nevermind!
give it my best shot~ it's the first major exam in JC after all...
busy busy June to look forward to.
X-Trail Challenge, remedials, June XP, remedials.
end of june.
JUNEXPJUNEXPJUNEXPJUNEXPJUNEXPJUNEXPJUNEXPJUNEXPJUNEXPJUNEXPJUNEXP!
woohoo. looking forward to it.
but gotta clear all my tests and everything first. hahas.
read for awhile more, then sleep.
hope i don't doze off during GP. 3+ EFF'ING HOURS!
may post a full one in June. =D
missing bball and all my bros loads. hahas. v^^

mayhegiveyouwhatiwishedicouldhavegiven.edkhy*2,always.

Posted by :]amu at 9:50 PM

May 8, 2008

ragh. here i am wasting time again. aHAHAs.
quite long since i last blogged huh.
was supposed to be doing the GPP, which was due like today?
but no one online. no one called. ... okay, so maybe it was my fault i didnt take the initiative to call.
getting damn damn tired ler. what a pace of life. either school or odac. swt.
and now i'm really injured ler. my last intense run was the 2.4km challenge.
but that was a damn sweet timing for me. 9flat! wahahaahas.
means i shaved a minute off my timing since i joined odac. arigato eugenees~! hahas.
but i'm really busted now. right leg specifically. knee and thigh. aches even while walking.
and a riddiculously dumb back injury from sports carnival last friday, which in itself was a waste of time in my opinion.
but the odac training after that was fun. in a not-so-nice way.
6 minutes late from reporting time= 60pushups.
abt 45minutes to chiong from macritchie carpark up to treetop walk. 5km.
but it was worth it. somehow, it's the shit we all go through together that makes that lasting impression on me.
and not the what talk-talks. =X
so went to the chinese physician today. and it appears that my spine's abit off.
not completely straight, according to her. probably the cause of my back woes.
h'mmm.. gotta go back one sunday again, hopefully to correct it.

just realised i'm getting mood swings these days.
super high with garrett, then next lesson dead. literally.
i dont remember feeling completely refreshed or whatnot when i wake up every morning.
never seem to be able to stay ahead of the tutorials, projectwork, odac.
time itself is an enemy. everything just seems to clash.
don't know how long till i break. and now i don't even have running to take my mind off things.
even doing this blog's gonna cost me somehow or another. it's "using up precious time" as it is.
"you could have used this time to do homework, revise for your gawdamned cas, read up more on your odac knowledge tests, doing something productive!"
i dunno who am i imitating, but i'm so damn eff'ing sure someone would eventually say/imply that to me.
but just want to let it off. not completely.
i've never had the urge to scream, but now i just feel like it.
and i can't, cause' thats retarded to me. i seriously wanna take a break. recover, anything.
but i dunno how. even when i've free time, do things i like. still no relaxed/refreshed feeling.
that burden on my shoulders still exists, heavier.
is it because time has shortened itself, or am i wasting time.
it does nt feel like 24hours anymore. only during lessons. it's like life itself is trying to pull me down.
every night, when i sleep. almost immediately alarm's ringing, 5.15 the next day.
and before you know, another day's gone.
it's already eff'ing may! mid years. june xp. so on and so forth.
my whole june's burnt. probably no time for going out, catching up or what.
it'll be homework, preparing for june XP, june XP, revising for for mid-years. and poof!
JULY.
kinda feels like being strapped into a rollercoaster, with no idea when it's going to stop.
but being in ODAC, gives me a temporary release. just enjoy.
but after that, everything single eff'ing thing crashes back in.
i've never felt so inadequate in academics. homework. lessons.
i always seem to get it, until now. like barely there. get it, but still grey areas exists.
and it feels like no one else cares. homework, just pile. who cares if some dumb kid cant catch up.
who cares if some dumb kid feels like crap, drowning like nothing.
oh, why is that dumb kid like being so 'dao'.
guess what, this dumb kid is trying his best to put up a facade that he's fine.
still trying to face up to reality, yea,it's JC life, hello.
ah wdv luh. and don't come like keep asking what's wrong, coz' i cant answer that question myself too.
sorry about this eff'ed up post, after not posting for quite a while.
but i just want to bitch. and i cant stand for pouring my unpleasantness onto someone else,
most probably i'll end up shouting and whatnot. misunderstandings arises, another addition to my platter.
why not, it's full enough as it is. join in. big enough plate.
see how long it takes before the plate cracks. that'll be hilarious, i swear.
someone's going kok-tarded after all.
but what's the point in keeping it in, when you will end up screwing up someone else's day as well.
like damn, they should have this course on how to manage life. speaker, me. audience, me.
and guess what, i still feel like crap.
ah to hell with it all. myself too, maybe.
tml's another day, but i don't see it getting any brighter.
and this post will be in a lovely shade of grey.
contemplated red, for all the angst in this post.
does it even qualify as angst? or simply just rantings of an immature dumb kid.
excellent.
eff'ed-up dumb kid, signing off.

Posted by :]amu at 10:50 PM